Living Within Your Limits

Limits. We all have them. It’s this idea that each person has a set of parameters and boundaries built within them based on their values and convictions, previous experiences, and personal goals.

Considering this, there are two types of people. Those who live and operate within their limitations…and those who don’t. If you think about it, it’s usually pretty easy to identify some examples of people in your life who are either of the two. People who live within their limits know how to say “no,” even when there is tremendous pressure to be a “yes man” (or woman). They have, what we refer to as, a “margin” in their life. In other words, they have breathing room, down time, or a day just for rest. They might not have a million friends, but they invest deeply in the ones they do have. They are available and they live fully present in each moment. They manage their finances well, don’t spend money they do not have, and take care of what they do have.

Conversely, you have people who are always pushing their limits. They are often over-committed and hurried–running here, there, and everywhere with little downtime to just “be.” The have no margin in their life because they take on more than they can handle and don’t know when to say no. They might be the social butterflies on your block, but their relationships are shallow, lacking depth. They are not typically reliable or available because they are already dealing with more than they can handle. They might spend on credit, buy things they don’t need, and fail to care for the things they already have in their possession.

Truth is, I have been both of these people. But the person I want to be is the former.

Peter Scazzero, in his book “Emotionally Healthy Spirituality,” explains that we first must biblically grieve our losses in order to mature in this area…

“Often we have larger fantasies and wishes for ourselves than our real lives can support. As a result, we work frantically trying to do more than God intended. We burn out thinking we can do more than we can. We get stressed and blame others.

We run around frantically, convinced that the world–whether it be our churches, friends, businesses, or children–will stop if we stop. Others of us get depressed because our desires are so high and unacheivable that it seems useless to do anything at all.

Getting off our thrones and joining the rest of humanity is a must for growing up. A part of us hates limits. We won’t accept them. This is part of the reason why grieving loss biblically is such an indispensable part of spiritual maturity. It humbles us like little else.

In fact, one of the great tasks of parenting and leadership is to help others accept their limits. This applies to the home, workplace, community, or church.”

As a pastor and pastor’s wife, my husband and I have a strong to desire to lead our church in this as well. Far too often, church becomes another “thing” added to list of “to-do’s,” while family life, marriages, and relationships hang in the balance. This is backwards. Accepting our limits means accepting that we cannot do or be everything, grieving those things, and then, finally, (and this is MOST important) re prioritizing what’s left!

You see, living within our physical means is not a concept that’s foreign to anyone. You know how much money you earn, therefore, you can’t spend more than that (without a credit card, that is). It’s pretty black and white. But what about living within your spiritual means? Living within the parameters and boundaries printed uniquely on your soul by God Himself. There is peace and rest waiting on the other side, friend.

Is there something you need to accept as being “outside your limits?” Pray on it and ask God to reveal it to your heart today. Saying “no” could be the most freeing thing you have ever done for your soul.